Anxiety dreams and Jason Momoa

I have been having frequent dreams about discovering I'm living with one of my exes and having those horrible feelings of being trapped and helpless.  The main character is usually my husband Rich.
If you read my other blog, At the base of the mountains, you will find out about that situation.  The dream last night was me waking up and going into the kitchen to discover a second refrigerator had been installed in the kitchen right next to the first one.  I looked in both of them, feeling very confused.  I then noticed piles of someone's belongings in the living room.  I went back to my bedroom to discover my husband in my bed!  I was enraged and starting screaming at him to get the hell out of my house.  
He pretty much was saying that he had the right to come and go as he pleased!  I told him if he didn't leave, I was calling the police!  

The second dream involved my yard.  It is a bit overgrown and in this dream I went outside to discover the park manager had hired a landscaping crew to come in and they had cut everything down, even my flower beds!  I was so angry and was yelling at them to stop, but they wouldn't.  I woke up at that point.
I do have a good dream occasionally and find that my "dream boyfriend" features in them.  Not surprisingly, he resembles Jason Mamoa.  I have a huge crush on him.  I am jealous of his wife, which is stupid because someone like him would certainly never want someone like me!  Well, I an enjoy him in my dreams!

 I had a really bad toilet dream last night.  I wish I could wake myself up from these, because one of these days, I'm going to wet the bed!
I was desperately searching for a toilet to use because I had to pee really bad.  No toilet was suitable.  Either filthy, too small, too big, etc.. I was begging people to let me use their bathrooms.  I was crying, thinking I was going to wet myself.  
In one bathroom, a man appeared.  He was in a wheelchair and had a colostomy bag hanging out, saying he needed to empty it!  I of course let him go first because he had a colostomy bag after all!  I thought to myself that it could have waited a couple minutes.  
Luckily, I woke up before I wet the bed!  One of these days, I know that I will find a good toilet and use it!  Maybe I should start wearing diapers to bed at night! 

I have been having crazy dreams as usual.  I had a very intense sexual dream last week.  Best sex of my life that I never had!  😅
Yesterday afternoon, I dreamt that I was at a client's house and she wanted home fries and a grilled cheese sandwich. The fries came out good, but for the life of me, I couldn't make that grilled cheese! Something always happened, it burned, I forgot to take the wrapper off the cheese, it fell on the floor, I fell asleep, the cheese was stuck to the wrapper... finally I had it all made and looked down to see I wasn't wearing any pants. I tried putting on some and they were too tight and I was hopping around trying to get them on in the kitchen! Thank God my alarm finally rang and got me out of that situation!
Last night I dreamt I was at my Mom's down in Louisiana and a big alligator chased and ate my cat, Tarzan.  Tarzan has been gone for about a year now.  In the dream, my stepfather shot the alligator and I was trying to find evidence of Tarzan in it's body.  I didn't find him though.  
Another dream was a typical being chased by the bad guys.  At one point there was a man that I was close to that had been shot.  He died in my arms.  

Little man

Little man, my Buzzy dog.  I dreamt of you this morning.  You miraculously appeared in my yard even though you died a few years ago.  I was so happy to see you, hug you, play with you..  It was a nice dream and maybe someday, I will see you again!

Lost in a small town

This is another typical reoccurring theme, except it was a bit different.  I was borrowing someone's car, a rather nice one, to go to the grocery store in an unfamiliar town.  
I went to an old Grand Union store (these aren't around anymore).  When I got in there I was making sure I had money or my bank card and my purse was stuffed with money, but it was all clearly fake.  I couldn't find my bank cards either.  Next thing I knew, I was out in the parking lot with a grocery cart full of expensive meat.  I was freaked out because I never remembered getting the meat or even paying for it!  I went back into the store and went to the meat counter and tried to find similar packages so I could put them back.  None of the labels matched up.  I finally went to a store clerk and they told me that it wasn't from their store, it was probably from an expensive butcher shop in town.  So I ended up leaving to try and find this other store on foot.  I was again searching through my purse, not finding anything except papers and fake money.  The neighborhood I was walking in was a real slum.  Broken down buildings and bricks piles laying all around.  I was trying to find the car.  I scoured the store parking lot but it wasn't there.  I was pushing the button on the key fob to make the horn beep and I could hear something far off in the distance.  I was going around and around this town trying to find the car.  I finally found it at a garage and it had turned into this crappy, little beat up car.  A nice lady approached me and was trying to help me.  She had a cell phone but the only two numbers I could remember were for people who couldn't really help me.  I was particularly wanting to call the car owner for help.  I woke up at this time.  

The Demon

This was a pretty disturbing dream.  So disturbing I may leave out some of the more graphic details.  I was visiting my Mom and step-dad in Louisiana (a common part of my dreams).  We were sharing a room.  The first night I was there I felt a presence.  The second night, my sister left the room, refusing to come back.  When I woke in the morning I was thinking about having to pack to go back home.  I then looked around the room and realized something had ripped up the walls and shreds of it were all over the place.  I called for my Mom and sister and told them to just look from the door and not to go into the room.  I knew there was something evil.  I went into the room and knew I would be safe, hopefully!  I saw the demon in a corner.  He resembled a demon at first, reddish black, hideously ugly.  He wasn't going to possess me, but use me as a tool to accomplish some task.  I don't remember all the details, but at one point I remember the demon went with me to a store, or diner or something like that.  He kept wanting to attack people but I would tell him not to. I would tell him that if he did, I would no longer help him and he would just have to kill me.  There was one particular part where he found this woman who he had raped before and did it again before I could stop him.  Except his whole body went up inside her.  I won't put in any more detail to this one.  We were looking at a map and he was showing me that we were going to drive back to my house in NY.  I was thinking of flying back but then knew in my dream that the plane would crash (common dream element).  Suddenly we switched to a scene where we were riding this type of watercraft in the ocean, there were a couple other people with us.  For some reason, this was a fun element.  We were riding over the waves and having a great time.  At the end of the dream, the demon had sexually assaulted a little boy.  I was so disgusted and angry with him, that I knew that this couldn't go on anymore.  The dream ended with paramedics and police showing up to take care of the boy and catch the demon.  
In this dream, I knew that if I didn't go along with the demon, he would hurt/kill me or someone else.  
In real life this was what happened when I lived with my daughter's father.  He would use threats and abuse to control me.  He was the demon.  

David Beckham

I had a short but pleasant dream when I took a nap the other day.  In it I was dating David Beckham and I was thrilled and surprised that he would want to date a "fat" woman like me.  He even bought me new clothes so I would look good for the fancy events he was going to bring me too.  In the dream there was even a brief "naughty" part but it ended all too soon!  There was an overlying feeling of insecurity and inadequacy because of the way I look.